Wednesday, October 17, 2012
The Great Balance
So here I am, juggling my writing schedule between fiction - book 2 of my Twin Ponds Maine Murder Mysteries and non-fiction -book 2 in the spiritual series; this one regarding empathy, with my spiritual journey. I'm trying to learn the latest step in my spiritual path. Imagine trying to be aware, in every moment of every day, how you use your energy. In other words, do I draw my energy from other people? Do I put expectations on others when all I really need to do is accept where they are at in their path and understand that it probably isn't where I'm at and be okay with that? Do I do things because I expect something back? Interesting and sometimes very tough questions that I'm grappling with as I try to further understand this thing we call life and life lessons. The thought goes that ideally we get our energy from upstairs, or heaven, or whatever name you choose to put to the Great Beyond. We shouldn't be drawing it from each other because that's what causes all the things I just brought up - expectations, disappointments, control issues, etc. Think of those questions when it comes to the issue of love. Brother, now that's a huge can of worms! So many of us need to be validated in someway by our partner. So many of us have these idealistic expectations of what love and a relationship should be. I know, I'm guilty of this myself. It didn't help growing up watching all those old Hollywood movies where romance was king and everything always ended with a neat bow as you and your lover walked off into the sunset together, never to have an issue or a problem. Sigh. If only... But what I'm trying to do is look at the bigger picture. Is it possible to be in a relationship and not need that validation? To be able to love and accept the person for who they are, without pointing fingers at their faults and hoping they do the same to you? Is it possible to be in a relationship and not depend on that other person for your energy? Once again, it all comes down to energy, doesn't it? How we use it, how we abuse it. Even with my writing, I need to watch that I don't put expectations into it. I create my stories, put them out there and try to let it go. If they're meant to be read by a host of people, they will be. If not, well, they do make a good doorstop. Being a shaman has taught me that we have a foot in the material world, but also a foot in the spiritual world. We are all connected. As Shakespeare once wrote, "If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die" - which shows the commonality in all of humanity, no matter race, creed, nationality. So here I sit, juggling writing and spirituality. Trying to find the big picture and attempting to understand why the world is as screwed up as it is. Maybe it's because we've forgotten that we don't need to take our energy from each other. That we don't need to impose our energy on each other. To heal and be secure and know there's something bigger at play here. As a friend of mine is fond of saying, "A tree is happy being a tree. A rock is happy being a rock." Why can't we be happy being who we are? And so the pondering continues...
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Seems to me you are right to focus on energy. Imposing our energy and expectations on others and trying to take some else's cannot be healthy, but of course we all get our energy from somewhere. With trees it is pretty obvious. Rocks are also full of energy, though their sources of it are a bit more obscure to me. I am a Christian (but that can be open to such misinterpretation!), so I believe, and experience, that my energy comes from that power I call God, whose nature is unconditional love. That's what encourages me to be secure and to open myself to healing. That's the "something bigger at play here" for me, and it keeps me always searching, as you are searching, to make sense out of this astonishing universe we are all a part of. It seems to me crucial to a more mature way of being in the universe not to burden others with our expectations, although in a romantic relationship that may take years of living together to begin to accomplish. Romantic love is, by definition, a needy relationship, at least at first. It may never fully grow out of that need, but I think it can progress to the point that the need is not dictatorial and intrusive, but trusting and open. It can, I think, even grow to the point of wanting truly the best for the other person, even if that best doesn't any longer include you in the relationship. But then it has morphed into a more perfect kind of love than romantic love is. My path so far has, spiritually speaking, pretty unremarkable in Christian terms, and pretty much followed within the Christian tradition. What has been a bit outside the norm is being influenced by Christian mystics, such as Teresa of Avila and john of the Cross, to name two. And to have had my own mystical experiences of oneness with God, fire that doesn't consume but reveals the spirit-filled nature of our world, and the unending, unconquerable love of God. I have spoken to those who have had encounters with angels, have had NDEs, and such, but not ghosts (which I am not interested in encountering, but am interested in how they fit into the larger world of the spirit we are usually unaware of.). A friend recommend your website. The local libraries seem not to have a copy of your book (it must be lost, or someone kept it and never turned it in). As you say, the pondering continues.... May your pondering be fruitful for yourself and others.
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